Unmasking ADHD: Why So Many Women Are Receiving a Late Diagnosis

by: Elizabeth Bohnsak

For years, women (myself included) have silently struggled with symptoms that were often dismissed as stress, anxiety, depression, or just "part of life." However, a growing number of women are now discovering that ADHD has most likely been at the root of their lifelong challenges. Often overlooked due to gender biases, misconceptions, and a lack of research, many women are receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life—unlocking a new understanding of themselves and how to thrive with it. 

As awareness of ADHD expands, in part thanks to social media such as TikTok, so too does the realization that its symptoms do not look the same for everyone—especially across genders. ADHD has historically been viewed as a disorder that primarily affects hyperactive young boys, with much of the research excluding girls and women. As a result, many of the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition) diagnostic criteria are based on older studies, which focused largely on children—particularly boys. This stereotype has led many girls and women to slip under the radar, masking their symptoms and often being misdiagnosed and treated for other conditions like anxiety or depression. Women and girls are far more likely to experience these internalizing symptoms of ADHD: excessive talking, tardiness, disorganization, inner restlessness, distractedness, overwhelm, perfectionism, social awkwardness, or dreaminess. Generally speaking, women’s hyperactivity tends to happen inside their own heads. These traits are less disruptive, so girls are less likely to be noticed by parents or educators.

Many girls and women develop strategies to overcompensate for their ADHD symptoms and mask their academic and/or social difficulties. Often, women feel the pressure from society to juggle multiple roles—caretaker, professional, partner, organizer—all while appearing perfectly put-together. When ADHD-ers inevitably struggle to meet these demands, the result is often feelings of inadequacy or burnout, but rarely a consideration of ADHD as the cause. As demands on their executive functioning skills intensify, their masking methods become less effective and emotionally taxing. Social media can exacerbate these feelings of inadequacy and shame. These internalized self-judgements turn into core beliefs such as “I am a failure”, “I am lazy or unmotivated”, “I am too sensitive”, “I lack discipline”, “I can’t trust myself”, and/or “I don’t belong”.

A late diagnosis of ADHD can indeed be life-changing, offering an opportunity to understand long-standing patterns and struggles through a new lens. However, for women who have spent decades battling undiagnosed ADHD, this revelation can also come with a mix of emotions—relief, frustration, and even grief. Learning to accept this new reality and heal from years of self-doubt is a complex process that takes time and effort. For many women, receiving a diagnosis later in life means revisiting their past and seeing it from a different perspective. Behaviors or struggles that were once attributed to personal failings—procrastination, forgetfulness, disorganization—suddenly make sense as part of the ADHD experience. This new understanding allows women to forgive themselves for not living up to societal or self-imposed expectations.

Reframing past experiences can be deeply liberating. Instead of labeling themselves as "lazy" or "incompetent," women can recognize that their brain simply works differently. For example, struggles in school, career setbacks, or difficulties maintaining relationships may now be viewed as challenges caused by untreated ADHD, rather than personal deficiencies. This shift in perspective can lead to an immense sense of relief, as they begin to realize that their struggles weren’t a result of character flaws but of an unrecognized condition. 

As women embrace their diagnosis and begin to understand how ADHD has shaped their lives, they also start to recognize their strengths. Many women with ADHD are creative, empathetic, and highly intuitive, traits that may have been overshadowed by their struggles. By focusing on these strengths (or superpowers!), they can rebuild their sense of self and cultivate a more positive, empowered view of who they are. Some of the most notable strengths of ADHD in women include but not limited to:

• Creativity and Innovation- Brains of ADHD women are wired to think outside the box, which can lead to innovative ideas and solutions. Whether it's in art, writing, design, or even business strategy, many women with ADHD have an exceptional ability to approach problems from new and unconventional angles.
• Hyperfocus- When fully engaged in a task they enjoy, women with ADHD can become incredibly absorbed, producing high-quality work and making remarkable progress in a short amount of time. This can be a powerful asset in creative projects or when working under tight deadlines.
• Strong Empathy and Emotional Awareness- Many women with ADHD are highly empathetic and in tune with the emotions of others. This heightened sensitivity allows them to connect deeply with and understand the emotions of people, making them excellent friends, caregivers, and communicators. 
• Adaptability and Resilience- Living with undiagnosed ADHD often requires women to develop strong adaptability skills. They’ve spent years figuring out how to navigate life without formal accommodations, which can make them resilient problem-solvers who can adjust quickly to change. 
• Spontaneity and Enthusiasm- Women with ADHD often bring energy and enthusiasm into their lives and the lives of those around them. Their natural curiosity and zest for life can make them adventurous and open to new experiences. 
• Passion-Driven Motivation-When women with ADHD find something they are passionate about, they can pour themselves wholeheartedly into it. Their interest can fuel long hours of dedicated work, helping them become experts in niche areas or develop deep knowledge and skill in pursuits they find meaningful.
• Intuition and Perception- Women with ADHD are often highly perceptive, noticing details and patterns that others might overlook. Their heightened awareness of their environment and ability to pick up on subtle cues can make them intuitive and insightful in social situations, work environments, or creative projects. 
• Ability to Embrace Big Ideas- ADHD brains tend to think on a larger scale, which allows women with ADHD to dream big and envision ambitious goals. While they may sometimes struggle with the smaller details, their ability to see the big picture can be an advantage in fields like entrepreneurship, creative industries, or any work requiring a visionary mindset especially with the right supports in place.
• Strong Advocacy Skills- Many women with ADHD become strong advocates—not only for themselves but also for others. Once they have received a diagnosis and understood their neurodiversity, many become passionate about raising awareness and pushing for inclusivity, often starting with their own children. 
• Energy and Spontaneous Humor- ADHD often comes with bursts of energy that, when channeled effectively, can infuse a sense of joy and humor into daily life. Many women with ADHD are known for their quick wit, spontaneity, and ability to lighten up situations with humor. 

While ADHD presents challenges, many women with ADHD possess strengths that can be incredibly valuable in both personal and professional settings. By doing the tough inner work to understand and embrace their neurodiversity—essentially "hacking" their brain to work for them rather than against them—these women can harness their creativity, empathy, and resilience to thrive in ways that are uniquely their own. Recognizing these positive aspects helps shift the focus from struggle to empowerment, enabling women with ADHD to lead fulfilling, vibrant lives. If you are a woman with ADHD (diagnosed or suspected, self-diagnosis is valid!), I would like to challenge you to reflect and name some of your ADHD superpowers and how they show up in your life.